It's been four months since Julian entered this world. Four sleepless, manic, wonderful, stressful, fearful, happy months. He's teething, yes teething let the fun begin! He's sleeping through the night more which is great (now I just need to start sleeping through the night and we'd be on our way to pure bliss!) He likes to kick his legs up high, roll to his side and grab his feet and pretty much grab everything. His hand co-ordination is getting better (hopefully soon he can hold his own bottle fingers crossed) His hair has grown back, I'm going to let it grow long and see where it goes ha. He still has blue eyes, dark greyish blue eyes. Such pretty eyes, eyes I never thought a child of mine would have ( I have dark brown eyes and Richard has hazelish eyes) He has the best. smile. ever. He drives me crazy and sometimes I just want some peace and quiet, just some time to myself! But then those times are just small times compared to how much I couldn't ever live without him. Ever. He's a big boy only four months old but in the body of a 9 month old (from the mouth of his paediatrician!) His tall and weighs 8 kilos (all normal cause of his height) I think I'm very lucky. No I am very lucky. I have a wonderful little boy. A boy who has placed so much happiness and fear into my life. Happiness at having him, watching him grow and change. Sometimes I have to stop myself from everyday life so I can actually look at him, take him in. Not just with my eyes, but with my heart, my ears, my everything. With happiness comes fear, because when you have something so wonderful when everything is going a - okay, then thats when something bad usually happens. I'm scared of the bad. I know this is life and bad things happen in life (not all extreme, I mean like falls and bumps etc just little things) I'm just not ready for them to happen to him yet. I'm so thankful ... to who I don't know. To Richard who pisses me off sometimes (you know generic things "take out the rubbish!" etc we've all been there!) but then who I always, always love. His such a good father. I'm lucky I know. I don't know what I'm trying to say here other than happy four months Julian.
I love you.
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